Life happens at the table.
Eating a meal with others—whether elaborate or simple, fancy or ordinary—is one of the most human things we can do. Sharing a meal with a young person is one of the most Christ-like things we can do.
So many beautiful moments in Jesus’ life happened at a table. He was, in fact, famous for sharing meals with those not welcomed in regular society. After calling Zacchaeus down from the sycamore tree, Jesus tells him he is going to dine at his house. Zacchaeus doesn’t even have time to clean up before Jesus arrives!
Before his arrest, Jesus shared the Passover meal with his disciples and instituted the Lord’s Supper.
Even after his resurrection, one of Jesus’ final acts is to meet His disciples, who are fishing, and share breakfast with them on the beach.
If we want to live like Jesus did and have a ministry that reflects his, maybe inviting kids into our homes for a meal is part of that?
Enjoying home-cooked food with kids provides space for relationships to grow in unique and beautiful ways. Inviting them to dine with us is a powerful way to deepen relationships by extending hospitality, allowing for mentorship, and inviting authentic connections through vulnerability.
Extending Hospitality
Hospitality has always been one of Young Life’s core values. We welcome kids into homes and familiar spaces for weekly clubs. At Young Life camps, we throw a weeklong party for them, and feed them delicious food, showing them the Kingdom of God is a place where they’re seen, known, and cared for. By giving kids a seat at our dinner table, we reflect God’s welcoming spirit and invite them to go deeper into life with Him alongside us.
In Hong Kong, Young Life staff and leaders have made it a regular practice of welcoming students into their homes to share meals.
“If we look at the life of Jesus, no matter what he was doing, he was always showing hospitality and inviting people to come along with him. Most often, it wasn’t convenient,” says Esther Pettigrew, Marketing and Communications Manager for Hong Kong Young Life. “In Hong Kong, young people do not necessarily feel like they can be free and share their hearts in their own homes. Inviting kids to dinner is a way to show the authenticity of your faith and the radical grace and love of God. In our homes, we see walls break down, hearts open, and kids share deeply—things they wouldn’t normally say.”
Mentoring Through Presence, Not Programs
According to research from the RELATE Project, Gen Z wants mentorship. But they’re not interested in traditional mentoring programs—they’re looking for real relationships. This is good news for anyone unsure how to be a mentor—you just need to live life alongside young people. They’re learning by watching how you speak, act, and make decisions. That kind of mentorship happens naturally in your home, especially around the dinner table.
“Young people are looking for mentors who will live everyday life alongside them,” says Dr. Tanita Maddox, National Director of Generational Impact for Young Life. “They want someone real, present, and consistent in their life.”
Young people are drawn to authenticity over structure. Inviting a kid to dinner isn’t a scheduled mentoring session—it’s a relational move. “We see for certain in this study that Gen Z wants to learn from older adults,” says Tanita in the RELATE report. “That’s a great thing! But we have to be careful to start with listening, not with advice.”
Kids want to be around adults often enough that, when the hard or big topics come up, they feel safe enough to ask. This only happens through consistent presence and trust built over time. The same research from RELATE reveals that kids between ages 16-18 often experience a drop in feeling like there are “people I can talk to about things that really matter.” During this time in life, teens go through many major life transitions (graduating from high school, attending college, or starting a career) and feel most vulnerable. For many, it’s a time when their identity transitions from being centered around family to becoming an adult with more responsibilities and decisions.
Eating dinner at your home offers space for discussion about these major life transitions to happen. It allows for the ordinary moments that lead to extraordinary conversations. You’re not just feeding them a meal; you’re offering your presence.
Who to Invite Over
Who are the teenagers in your life you want to extend God’s love to? Where is there a natural invitation waiting for you?
They may be your kids’ friends. Or your teenage nieces or nephews. What kind of life might they experience at your dinner table that’s missing from their own?
Can you offer your small group friends or neighbors a date night by hosting their teenagers for dinner?
If you’re a Young Life leader, this answer should be an obvious one!
Don’t Be Afraid to Be Messy
Dinner rarely goes according to plan in most kitchens. Meals don’t always hit the table at the intended time, and there’s almost always a forgotten ingredient. Sometimes something gets burned, or poorly chopped, or improperly measured.
It’s always messy, don’t be afraid of the mess.
When our teenage friends join us for a meal, they see our messiness. And that mess allows kids to be messy, too.
Today’s young people live under an ever-present pressure to be perfect, constantly ranked by academic performance, athletic success, social hierarchy, and virtual followers, views, and likes. Show kids your house is one where there are no rankings or expectations of perfection.
We’re not afraid of our mess, because God isn’t deterred by it. And if He’s not deterred by our mess, He’s not deterred by theirs.
So, when you invite a young person over for dinner, maybe don’t clean up before they arrive! Don’t apologize for the mess or the meal, however it turns out. Allow your imperfect home to be a place of comfort and assurance.
Model Vulnerability
Opening your home to a teenager can feel vulnerable. They may not share the same decorating aesthetic as you or wonder why your table has so many scratches on it. You may worry about your cooking or whether they’ll enjoy the meal. Inviting someone into your space always comes with the risk of judgment.
Yet, vulnerability is where real intimacy begins. When we’re willing to be vulnerable, we create space for kids to do the same. The four walls of your home are a rare, safe place—free from outside pressures and expectations.
Be honest about your day, how well it did or didn’t go, and your own emotions throughout it all. This will set the tone for what level of honesty is safe at your table.
Try waiting to cook until they arrive and invite them into the process. Doing something with your hands—peeling, chopping, measuring—keeps our hands busy and allows our hearts to be honest. The simple act of eating can be just enough of a distraction to help kids lower their guards. The space around a table can allow them to talk freely about their days, worries, and hopes, without us even asking the questions directly.
Be Yourself, That’s Who They’re Looking For
Teens are watching. How we treat those we live with, how we handle stress—these are the things kids notice. They will interpret our relationship with Jesus through our actions.
When we’re in our own space, our teenage friends can wonder, are we patient? Are we kind? Do we listen well? Do we serve those around us? These answers are on full display when we share a meal in our home, and they paint a picture of life in the Kingdom of God.
One of the things young people are longing for most in relationships is authenticity. Are we who we say we are? At home, it’s hard to pretend. And that’s the point. So, just start by setting one more place at your table. Invite a kid over for dinner—simply to be with them. In your ordinary, everyday life, you have the chance to be a safe adult, a listening ear, and a living picture of God’s grace. It’s not about perfect food or flawless hosting—it’s about showing up, being real, and letting kids know they belong. Relationship begins with presence, and presence begins with an invitation.
